Eight O'clock

From my friend John Money, professor of history, after tennis and a fine party.  "The moral - historians nota bene:  the truth ain't necessarily what got written down.  "

Bluebottle:       What time is it Eccles?

Eccles:             Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.

Bluebottle:       Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?

Eccles:             Welll, um, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.

Bluebottle:       Wait a minute Eccles, my good man.

Eccles:             What is it fellow?

Bluebottle:       It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.

Eccles:             I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.

Bluebottle:       Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?

Eccles:             Well den, I don't show it to 'em.

Bluebottle:       Ooohhh.

Eccles:             [smacks lips] yeah.

Bluebottle:       Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?

Eccles:             I've got it written down on a piece of paper.

Bluebottle:       Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.

Eccles:             Oohhhh.

Bluebottle:       'Ere Eccles?

Eccles:             Yah.

Bluebottle:       Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'

Eccles:             What? I've been sold a forgery.

Bluebottle:       No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.

Eccles:             Oh dear.

Bluebottle:       You should get one of them tings my Granddads' got.

Eccles:             Oooohhh.

Bluebottle:       His firm give it to him when he retired.

Eccles:             Oooohhh.

Bluebottle:       It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettle, and pours a cuppa tea.

Eccles:             Ohhh yeah. What's it called? Um.

Bluebottle:       My Grandma.

Eccles:             Ohh. Ohh, wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock?

Bluebottle:       She's got it written down on a piece of paper.