Proverbs 8:1 raw data |
The Hermeneutrix has posted a translation of a bit of Proverbs 8 by Robert Alter. Some of you may have noticed my use of this chapter in a recent section of my letters to my children. I thought it would be instructive to compare what I have done with Alter.
My work was done with a view to music and concordance in translation rather than literature. I am under far greater constraints than Alter. I must preserve word order where feasible (and I don't always do that) and I should not drop or add syllables (impossible of course). But I do not allow myself to slip from one synonym to another without a high degree of algorithmic care. If I break my rules, my algorithms show me and I have to make a decision whether to bypass the rules or not. There are thousands of decisions that a translator makes - some of them on the fly. A translator needs a host of feedback mechanisms - people are best, but lacking them, algorithms are tougher to hide from.
Here's my arrangement of 8:1 for the music in English.
Proverbs 8:1 arranged |
Proverbs 8:2 raw data |
Proverbs 8:2 arranged |
Now the two translations side by side.
Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31, trans. Bob MacDonald | Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31, trans. Robert Alter | |
Does not wisdom call, | 1 | Look, Wisdom calls out, |
and understanding give her voice? | and Discernment lifts her voice. | |
At the head, from the high ground, by a way, | 2 | At the top of the heights, on the way, |
the house of pathways, she stands firm. | at the crossroads, she takes her stand, | |
From the hand at the gates, to the edge of the town, | 3 | by the gates, at the city’s entrance, |
she shouts at the entrance of the doors. | at the approach to the portals, she shouts: | |
To each and every one of you I call, | 4 | To you, men, I call out, |
and my voice is to the children of humanity. | and my voice to humankind. | |
Yahweh bought me, the beginning of his way, | 22 | The HOLY ONE created me at the outset of His way, |
preceding his work from then. | the very first of His works of old. | |
From everlasting I have offered libation from the beginning, out of the precedents of earth. | 23 |
In remote eons I was shaped, at the start of the first things of earth. |
When there were no abysses, I was birthed, | 24 | When there were no deeps I was spawned, |
when there were no springs, heavy with water. | when there were no wellsprings, water sources. | |
From ere hills were ringed, | 25 | Before mountains were anchored, |
before the presence of hillocks, I was birthed. | before hills I was spawned. | |
While he had not made earth or outsides, | 26 | He had yet not made earth and open land, |
or the preeminent fauna of the world. | and the world’s first clods of soil. | |
In the establishing of the heavens, there am I, | 27 | When He founded the heavens, I was there, |
when he engraved the ambit on the face of the abyss. | when He traced a circle on the face of the deep, | |
When he assured the skies from above, | 28 | when He propped up the skies above, |
in the strength of the springs of the abyss. | when He powered the springs of the deep, | |
In his defining to the sea his decree, and the waters not to bypass his mandate, | 29 | when He set to the sea its limit, that the waters not flout His command, |
when he engraved the foundations of earth, | when He strengthened the earth’s foundations. | |
And I was next to him as confidante, | 30 | And I was by Him, an intimate, |
and I was reveling day by day, | I was His delight day after day, | |
gamboling in his presence all the time, | playing before Him at all times, | |
gamboling in the world of his earth, | 31 | playing in the world, His earth, |
reveling with the children of humanity. P | and my delight with humankind. |
So what questions would you have for the translator(s)? See my answers here.
miwli k | Proverbs 8 |
a hloa-kcmh tqra utbunh titn qolh |
1 Does not wisdom call, and understanding give her voice? |
b braw-mromim yli-drç bit ntibot nixbh |
2 At the head, from the high ground, by a way, the house of pathways, she stands firm. |
g lid-wyrim lpi-qrt mboa ptkim tronh |
3 From the hand at the gates, to the edge of the town, she shouts at the entrance of the doors. |
d alicm aiwim aqra vqoli al-bni adm |
4 To each and every one of you I call, and my voice is to the children of humanity. |
cb ihvh qnni rawit drco qdm mpyliv maz |
22 Yahweh bought me, the beginning of his way, preceding his work from then. |
cg myolm niscti mraw mqdmi-arx | 23 From everlasting I have offered libation from the beginning, out of the precedents of earth. |
cd bain-thomot kollti bain myiinot ncbdi-mim |
24 When there were no abysses, I was birthed, when there were no springs, heavy with water. |
ch b'trm hrim hu'tbyu lpni gbyot kollti |
25 From ere hills were ringed, before the presence of hillocks, I was birthed. |
cv yd-la ywh arx vkuxot vraw yprot tbl |
26 While he had not made earth or outsides, or the preeminent fauna of the world. |
cz bhcino wmiim wm ani bkuqo kug yl-pni thom |
27 In the establishing of the heavens, there am I, when he engraved the ambit on the face of the abyss. |
ck bamxo wkqim mmyl byzoz yinot thom |
28 When he assured the skies from above, in the strength of the springs of the abyss. |
c't bwumo lim kuqo umim la iybru-piv bkuqo mosdi arx |
29 In his defining to the sea his decree, and the waters not to bypass
his mandate, when he engraved the foundations of earth, |
l vahih axlo amon vahih wywuyim iom iom mwkqt lpniv bcl-yt |
30 And I was next to him as confidante, and I was reveling day by day, gamboling in his presence all the time, |
la mwkqt btbl arxo vwywuyii at-bni adm p |
31 gamboling in the world of his earth, reveling with the children of humanity. P |
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