Proverbs 8

Proverbs 8:1 raw data

The Hermeneutrix has posted a translation of a bit of Proverbs 8 by Robert Alter. Some of you may have noticed my use of this chapter in a recent section of my letters to my children. I thought it would be instructive to compare what I have done with Alter. 

My work was done with a view to music and concordance in translation rather than literature. I am under far greater constraints than Alter. I must preserve word order where feasible (and I don't always do that) and I should not drop or add syllables (impossible of course). But I do not allow myself to slip from one synonym to another without a high degree of algorithmic care. If I break my rules, my algorithms show me and I have to make a decision whether to bypass the rules or not. There are thousands of decisions that a translator makes - some of them on the fly. A translator needs a host of feedback mechanisms - people are best, but lacking them, algorithms are tougher to hide from.

Here's my arrangement of 8:1 for the music in English.

Proverbs 8:1 arranged

And here is the next verse: rhythms of the English are taken advantage of.

Proverbs 8:2 raw data

Proverbs 8:2 arranged

The full score is available - a mechanical performance of the second day is here.

Now the two translations side by side.

Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31, trans. Bob MacDonald		Proverbs 8:1-4, 22-31, trans. Robert Alter
Does not wisdom call,	1	Look, Wisdom calls out,
and understanding give her voice?		and Discernment lifts her voice.
At the head, from the high ground, by a way,	2	At the top of the heights, on the way,
the house of pathways, she stands firm.		at the crossroads, she takes her stand,
From the hand at the gates, to the edge of the town,	3	by the gates, at the city’s entrance,
she shouts at the entrance of the doors.		at the approach to the portals, she shouts:
To each and every one of you I call,	4	To you, men, I call out,
and my voice is to the children of humanity.		and my voice to humankind.
Yahweh bought me, the beginning of his way,	22	The HOLY ONE created me at the outset of His way,
preceding his work from then.		the very first of His works of old.
From everlasting I have offered libation from the beginning, out of the precedents of earth.	23	In remote eons I was shaped, at the start of the first things of earth.
When there were no abysses, I was birthed,	24	When there were no deeps I was spawned,
when there were no springs, heavy with water.		when there were no wellsprings, water sources.
From ere hills were ringed,	25	Before mountains were anchored,
before the presence of hillocks, I was birthed.		before hills I was spawned.
While he had not made earth or outsides,	26	He had yet not made earth and open land,
or the preeminent fauna of the world.		and the world’s first clods of soil.
In the establishing of the heavens, there am I,	27	When He founded the heavens, I was there,
when he engraved the ambit on the face of the abyss.		when He traced a circle on the face of the deep,
When he assured the skies from above,	28	when He propped up the skies above,
in the strength of the springs of the abyss.		when He powered the springs of the deep,
In his defining to the sea his decree, and the waters not to bypass his mandate,	29	when He set to the sea its limit, that the waters not flout His command,
when he engraved the foundations of earth,		when He strengthened the earth’s foundations.
And I was next to him as confidante,	30	And I was by Him, an intimate,
and I was reveling day by day,		I was His delight day after day,
gamboling in his presence all the time,		playing before Him at all times,
gamboling in the world of his earth,	31	playing in the world, His earth,
reveling with the children of humanity. P		and my delight with humankind.

So what questions would you have for the translator(s)? See my answers here.

miwli k	Proverbs 8
a hloa-kcmh tqra utbunh titn qolh	1 Does not wisdom call, and understanding give her voice?
b braw-mromim yli-drç bit ntibot nixbh	2 At the head, from the high ground, by a way, the house of pathways, she stands firm.
g lid-wyrim lpi-qrt mboa ptkim tronh	3 From the hand at the gates, to the edge of the town, she shouts at the entrance of the doors.
d alicm aiwim aqra vqoli al-bni adm	4 To each and every one of you I call, and my voice is to the children of humanity.
cb ihvh qnni rawit drco qdm mpyliv maz	22 Yahweh bought me, the beginning of his way, preceding his work from then.
cg myolm niscti mraw mqdmi-arx	23 From everlasting I have offered libation from the beginning, out of the precedents of earth.
cd bain-thomot kollti bain myiinot ncbdi-mim	24 When there were no abysses, I was birthed, when there were no springs, heavy with water.
ch b'trm hrim hu'tbyu lpni gbyot kollti	25 From ere hills were ringed, before the presence of hillocks, I was birthed.
cv yd-la ywh arx vkuxot vraw yprot tbl	26 While he had not made earth or outsides, or the preeminent fauna of the world.
cz bhcino wmiim wm ani bkuqo kug yl-pni thom	27 In the establishing of the heavens, there am I, when he engraved the ambit on the face of the abyss.
ck bamxo wkqim mmyl byzoz yinot thom	28 When he assured the skies from above, in the strength of the springs of the abyss.
c't bwumo lim kuqo umim la iybru-piv bkuqo mosdi arx	29 In his defining to the sea his decree, and the waters not to bypass his mandate, when he engraved the foundations of earth,
l vahih axlo amon vahih wywuyim iom iom mwkqt lpniv bcl-yt	30 And I was next to him as confidante, and I was reveling day by day, gamboling in his presence all the time,
la mwkqt btbl arxo vwywuyii at-bni adm p	31 gamboling in the world of his earth, reveling with the children of humanity. P